King-Sized Halloween – Graveyard Shift (1990) - This Episode Was NOT Endorsed by OSHA

I warned you this joke would be coming back.

Welcome back for the first entry in this October's curated run – the 1990 movie Graveyard Shift, adapted from the story of the same name.

But first, a prelude.

After all, Night Shift is a collection of twenty stories, only about half of which have graced feature films. I don't wish to do a disservice to those that haven't made the proverbial big leagues (and in some of these cases, now want to seek out the Dollar Baby adaptations for later.) Plus, I'm already committed to rereading the whole collection anyway, so before we dive into the movie, let's have a quick discussion of the story that came before it, Jerusalem's Lot.

[A note before we go any further – I'm angling to run this month in the order the stories are featured in the collection. As some of you may already be aware, this will create a discrepancy down the line thanks to an anthology movie double dipping. I will be breaking from the order for that point, but otherwise, I'm sticking to the order as arranged.]

Jerusalem's Lot – Let me start this with an admission – at the time I first read this book, I was around 14 years old. I put this out there as my way of saying that, at that time, I really hadn't come across anything in the vein of H.P. Lovecraft's work. As a result, this story hit and slid off of me the first time out. Between the mythos, the journal narratives and the heavy emphasis on the creeping dread and mystery, I really didn't vibe with this as much as what came after. Revisiting it, I've come around to it a lot more. Looking at this one in the theme of feature adaptations, this is a story that feels like it has enough meat on its bones to make a solid 90-100 minute film without needing too much padding or extrapolation. It makes me both curious and apprehensive knowing they instead turned this into a television series (Chapelwaite). I might give that a shot at some point, but for now, I'll leave it as this story was a pleasant surprise on this revisit. A heavily atmospheric slow-burn with its roots in Lovecraft, that, this time around, came out as one of my favorites. 

Now then, on to our main title for this entry - Graveyard Shift.

I know marketing tends to favor hype over fact
But damn, that tagline is writing a REALLY big check to cash.

As I stated above, I can see the makings of a feature movie in Jerusalem's Lot. I had a much harder time of thinking the same for Graveyard Shift.

Don't get me wrong - this isn't a bad story. I enjoyed it as a good down-and-dirty early King short. But it's also one that it's hard to picture someone reading and coming away from thinking “There's a great picture in this!” Save for the fact this was made at the time where Stephen King's name alone was a selling point, anyway.  

For those not familiar, the story concerns a group of luckless workers tasked with cleaning out the subterranean levels of a textile mill over a holiday weekend. What starts as a miserable slog hosing down water rotted supplies and all manner of decay takes a turn as they descend lower and discover the assorted vermin that have made this their home. To just call them rats is a touch misleading.

In some respects, this has similar elements to Jerusalem's Lot - a small cast, a fixed location, and a heavy sense of atmosphere. It's where the two go from there that differs, however. Jerusalem's Lot has its story in how deep the narrative rabbit hole goes for its protagonist as he uncovers the troubled past of his ancestral home. By comparison, the cleanup crew of Graveyard Shift just venture deeper into subterranean decay and the mutated creatures therein..

In the right hands, this would have the potential to make an awesome short film played to the page. A solid, atmospheric, mean-spirited dive into deeper and deeper dark, both in the building itself and in our protagonist's nature. As a feature length endeavor, it calls for a lot of extrapolation to get it up to a marketable run time.

In that regard, I give Ralph Singleton's 1990 adaptation this - it has good instincts in what areas to build out the story. He chooses to expand on things like establishing the not-your-typical rodent infestation early on, the overall corrupt nature of the mill's manager, and further establishing the protagonist as an outsider with all the hostility that brings with it.

On paper, these are good directions to want to go in. Sadly, they don't pan out in the actual execution.

If I had to sum up the biggest problem in this movie in a single word, it would be ‘forgettable.’ It's not an especially egregious watch - I didn't come away from it feeling like I had wasted my time or was angry with the poor quality. Which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that the movie didn't really leave me feeling much of anything for the bulk of its runtime.

To be fair and try to highlight some good, there are some bits I would consider as making some impact, if not for the reasons they hoped for. 

Though if I'm being completely fair,
Brad Dourif is one of those actors who could make
reading the phone book an interesting experience.

At the top of that list is Brad Dourif - a supporting actor here but easily the biggest star power - as an exterminator written just for the movie. The character on its own isn't an especially fleshed out or engaging figure. In fact, the role is an almost cartoonish cliche that would have been an embarrassment with a lesser actor. Instead, Dourif takes this exterminator whose basically your over the top unstable Vietnam vet stereotype and makes it watchable by playing it at a constant 11.

As fun as Dourif is, most of the rest of the cast leave nowhere near the same impression, sadly. The one other who comes coming close is Stephen Macht, whose corrupt manager has one finger constantly twirling his mustache with every single line read. It kind of makes me feel bad for David Andrew's stoic protagonist, who simply blends in, lacking either the darkness of his original character or a heroic appeal of a more traditional movie lead.

You know what? I take it back.
He doesn't need the finger twirling it,
with some of his line reads, this stache twirls itself.

Which ultimately undercuts the potential in the idea of expanded story - the elements used to make those expansions don't really leave you wanting more of this world. In fact, the actual work under the mill that is the focus of the story is relegated to the final third, making it an utter slog to get there.

As much as I want to say patience is rewarded, even after getting through said slog, the payoff is unrewarding. On page, the descent into the mill is dark, dank, and the increasingly more primal, both in terms of the location and the mutated rodents that reside there. King paint a picture that you can imagine to the point of almost envisioning touch and small in how damp and gruesome it is. In the finished film, it all just feels dimly lit and cheap. That goes for both the set design and the creature work

Reading up on the production of this just adds to the frustration. There were a few attempts at this film starting from initially getting the rights from King on the set of Maximum Overdrive (which, given the allegations of King's state while filming, doesn't speak well for that greenlight.) The first attempt fell through and it led to a next attempt building on the old script and a sense of the budget being whittled down with each go. That there was an initial attempt at this with effects work by Tom Savini makes the unremarkable creature work in the finished version even more of a let down.

I keep telling myself to judge the movie for what it is,
not what I want it to be. But man, for a design was already
underwhelmed by, knowing we could have had Savini
creatures is just insult to injury.

A let down. As much as I feel bad using that term here, it's really the one that feels the most appropriate here. As I said before, I didn't come away from this amused or even angry as much as just…there.
Not the most thrilling way to start things up, I admit. At least I was pleasantly surprised by the revisit to Jerusalem's Lot, and the original story for Graveyard Shift was enjoyable.

I promise, the films will overall pick up from here. This next one is…I'm not gonna claim great, but it's certainly going to be more interesting.
Plus, the next slate includes a story I am pleased to say is still a favorite in this collection.
Till then.

New Year, New October, New Spin on the Horror Dive

Holy shit, this place is dusty.

Pardon my language. I know, that's on me for leaving things untouched here for so long.

In any case, it's October, and after taking last year off, I'll admit it – I've missed this.

So, once again, I'm turning the lights back on and getting ready for another Halloween horror deep dive.

I suppose you're wondering, what franchise will it be this year?

About that...

I'd been thinking that over this summer. There's a few I've been circling for years now to varying degrees of interest or availability (one of these years, I will pull the pin on Argento's Three Mothers, but not this time around.)

After turning over a few have toyed with before, a thought occurred to me to try something a little different this time.

Let me start by saying this has been a surprisingly good year for Stephen King movies. Four movies lined up for major theatrical releases, three have already opened to, if not major box offices, generally good critical response and word of mouth, most recently with the long awaited adaptation of The Long Walk.

So, my brain has already been percolating on King adaptations, and an idea began to form.

If you're reading this and thinking Children of the Corn? Partial credit, though I don't think I have it in me to go all the way down that hole. I powered through all of Hellraiser, but even I have my limits.

But don't worry - those murderous children will be crossing the feed this month in their own time, even if not for the full limelight. Rather than doing a franchise proper, I'm going on a curated dive into the cinematic works taken from King's short story collection, Night Shift.

 

 Yeah, the first edition was kind of understated,
but, as they say, don't judge it by its cover.

I had weighed between this and Skeleton Crew initially. Skeleton Crew was particularly tempting for the one-two punch of The Mist and The Monkey. But, if I'm being honest, Night Shift was among the first King I ever read, so in a way it only felt right.

So, this October, we're going into the weird, wild, wonderful world of the various directors who have taken on the stories in the Night Shift collection, including King himself (that's right – Maximum Overdrive is on the table!)

Just as a final note – this obviously won't cover every story in the collection. As fun as it would be to take on the various stories that have been adapted for short form of television or dollar babies*, I feel like I would bite off more than I could chew. So this will be limited to feature length adaptations, though I will be offering thoughts on the other stories in the collection along the way.

*For those not familiar with this term, King has long had a program in place called the Dollar Baby program he offers to aspiring filmmakers. Through this, they can by the rights to make an adaptation of one of his stories that hasn't been optioned for the low cost of a dollar. As fun as the idea of using those to fill in is, that would require successfully finding them all, and some of these mainly only play festivals, which puts me at a disadvantage with the space of a month.

So, hopefully you'll be coming along for some or all of the ride. Cause it's gonna be a King-sized Halloween here at the Third Row.

Yes, I was able to hold off a whole page before making that joke. No, it won't be the last time. In fact, that's probably now the name of this run.

So, until next time when we kick things off by getting down and dirty in the 1990 movie Graveyard Shift.

 

 Till then.

The House by the Cemetery - What About Bob?

I thought about making the subtitle for this a third riff on landing in hot water with a local board of tourism. I opted not to because, for one - if you’ve seen this before this, you’ll get why I chose this name. The other reason - pattern breaking is a big part of this entry.

First let me lead this off by falling on my proverbial sword for you all not once, but twice over errors I made in my previous entries. First up - in discussing Fulci’s collaborators over the course of this trilogy, I named one person in error. Composer Fabio Frizzi provided the scores for City of the Living Dead and The Beyond, but the score to The House by the Cemetery was provided by Walter Rizzati and Alessando Blonksteiner. Second, though much less of a faux-pas by comparison - at the start of this, I had stated the entire trilogy of these movies could be streamed on Tubi. Once again, that only applies to CotLD and TB, but don’t be discouraged - The House by the Cemetery can be streamed for free from RedBox of all places as of this writing (with ads, but you’d get the same deal with Tubi, so there’s that.)

Okay, so now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s go into The House by the Cemetery, and my reasons for using this particular subtitle.

Overall, I like this movie. I want to get that out of the way up front. It’s a fun riff on a haunted house film, it has some properly grisly Fulci-style kills, and it offers a different take on the zombie type from the previous entries.

The last point is where I get stuck on it - looking at these movies as a trilogy, one can see the connective tissue between City of the Living Dead and The Beyond. By comparison, The House by the Cemetery feels like a hard shift from the earlier films. It’s not that there aren’t connections - as previously established, Fulci is again working with Sacchetti and MacColl in their respective roles of director, writer, and actress. Also, Fulci and Sacchetti are making a story inspired by the work of H.P. Lovecraft, though this marks where things start to break off.

In the prior movies, the Lovecraft influence skewed toward broader (or as it tends to be generally coined cosmic) horror - the version of Hell presented is seen as a supernatural corruption that is opened and poured forth into our world, growing in scope and power. Here, the angle is a story that could exist within the universe of Lovecraft’s work, but not of the same type as the others. In this case, that takes the form of a doctor whose quest for immortality leads him to ends that can be described as, in the least spoilery terms, the ghoulish. It’s an interesting concept, and as the zombie aspect goes, it makes a fun spin. But again, it feels somewhat out of step with what came before, both in terms of the nature of the horror and the much smaller scale this movie plays at.

It's a minor quibble, but I'll say it - it seems weird
to call a child 'Bob.' Bobby, sure. Robert, yeah.
Bob just feels like of those names you have to age into.

Speaking of smaller, we go to the subject of our title and the other big difference of this movie - its protagonist. MacColl completes her run in this movie, but unlike the last two, she feels more like a supporting role. Instead, the lion’s share of the focus goes to Giovanni Frezza (with a voice dubbed by Lyle Stetler that feels eerily out of place on the young actor) as MacColl’s son, Bob. I feel a little bit like a jerk coming down on this character since he IS a kid, and at least appearance-wise, Frezza is making a game attempt with the role. Having said that, for being the focus of much of the movie, Bob is sort of ineffectual in the larger movie. He’s set up at first as being akin to Danny Torrance in The Shining, being treated to visions that foreshadow the coming horror, but ultimately all he can really do is try to warn people who still wind up dead anyway. I place the fault on this more on the script than the child himself, but when he’s that big a part of the movie, it is a hard problem to look past.

Ultimately, I’m of two minds on this movie. On its own, it’s still a fun time. It hits the notes I come to Fulci for - good atmosphere, solid score (it’s no Frizzi, but it works) and that sweet, sweet carnage. Its biggest faults lie in its role as the final part of the ostensible Gates of Hell trilogy, where it lacks the gates, the Hell, and honestly, just the highs of its predecessors.

Also, after a series called The Gates of Hell literally ends
its second movie with its leads going to Hell,
this ending just feels underwhelming.

Again though, it’s a brisk 90 minutes and well worth seeking out.

I needed this right about now. It’s been a weird year and I’ve been wanting to get back into this. November is probably off the table as that will be a busy month, but we’ll see how things shake out in December.

In the meantime, a Happy Halloween till you all, and if nothing else, I’ll see you all next October!.

The Beyond - New City, Same Great Hell Zombies!

Welcome back once again to the Third Row’s October Franchise Dive (someday I’ll have a proper name for this thing.)

Well, the survivors of Dunwich put it to a vote. I won’t go into the details, but let me just say that if I’m spotted within city limits, there WILL be consequences. So, you win this round, board of tourism.

But, the journey through Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy isn’t over, so we’re pulling up stakes and heading south. There’s a quaint little hotel in Louisiana I’ve been hearing about. Nice location, good price. Just a little matter of a portal into Hell in the basement, but hey - it adds character!

Okay, joking aside, I’m gonna start with an up front disclosure. As of what I have seen to this point, The Beyond (AKA …E tu vivrai nel terrore! L'aldilà, AKA 7 Doors of Death) is, hands down, my favorite Italian horror movie. This isn’t to say ‘best’, mind you. If you put the proverbial screws to me, I’d say the best likely goes to something like Black Sunday or Suspiria. But that’s the thing - favorite isn’t always going to be best, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just want to get that out there now in the interests of transparency.

Watching the movie this time, I went in with an eye for how this plays as a continuation of the trilogy, in particular compared to the previous City of the Living Dead. To that end, I want to again reaffirm my sentiment from last time - I like City of the Living Dead quite a bit, but in many ways, it feels like a test run for a lot of what Fulci would do in The Beyond.

Once again, we’re given a similar premise, albeit this time with some changes in presentation. Gone is the ill-fated town of Dunwich as we’re instead transplanted to a hotel in Louisiana. Care of a prologue, we learn the building is located over one of the fabled seven portals to Hell foretold in the Book of Eibon. In this case, however, there’s no act that invokes its opening. In fact, we start this film with an artist who claims to be able to stop it - shortly before he’s attacked and murdered by an angry mob.

Hey, we all make mistakes.

Flash forward - this time, the race against the clock has been swapped out for Catriona MacColl playing the ‘lucky’ new owner of said Hell-adjacent hotel. Right from the jump, we’re getting similar but different - Fulci keeps the growing corruption angle, but in this case, our heroes are initially unaware of what they’re dealing with instead of racing to stop it.

Which comes to one of the areas where I feel like this improves on City - the escalation feels more consistent (as much as the film's dreamlike narrative allows for) starting slowly and getting gradually larger and more graphic. Our first incident is framed as a benign accident. In fact, it’s probably one of the tamest injuries you’ll see in a Fulci movie. From there, we get isolated cases of people running afoul of the living dead, strange unseen forces, and two triumphs of prosthetic heads, the first involving a bottle of acid, and then second an army of half actual tarantulas, half props. Each time, the set pieces cast a little further out before, once again, we have hordes of the shambling dead to send us to our big finish.

Alongside that better sense of an upped ante, I have been noticing a through line in this movie that I find curious. Again, compared to its predecessor, there seems to be more of a shared thematic through line in this movie’s carnage.

Which is probably the best opportunity I have to say, before I continue, if you’re squeamish about eye trauma, this MIGHT not be the movie for you. I’ve joked in the past about Fulci’s predilection for grisly scenes with eyeballs, but even by that metric, this movie goes for them with all the frequency and passion of all Three Stooges.

As much as I joke about this just being a standard Fulci tendency, I have to admit it does feel like it also has a narrative basis in this case. Most notably with regards to the presence of Cinzea Monreale’s character Emily.

Shout out to numerous cast members.
Apparently they could see nothing behind those contacts.

Second warning for this entry - for this point, I will need to drop some spoilers. So I will give you till the count of…

Okay. You were warned. Let’s go.

Emily is initially presented to us as a mystery. She has knowledge of the hotel’s past, and other than that, her most distinct characteristic is the fact she is visibly blind. When I say ‘visibly’, I call your attention to the above screencap - and props to Monreale for sticking out her scenes with those. This in and of itself could just be a stylistic effect of the movie, but for two things. First - she has a scene later in the film where her dialogue establishes that she was a former damned soul that was released from Hell to warn of the doorway’s opening. Second - the movie’s final scenes, in which our two leads have now wandered through the door and are trapped in the barren abyss of Hell. As they wander, they gain the same blinded appearance Emily has.

And with that, I bring this back to my initial point - there is a distinct thematic through line in this movie of Fulci tying the eyes to the concept of being damned/blinded by evil. It’s an idea that plays through many of the kills inflicted by Hell’s growing influence, as characters’ eyes are crushed, gouged, or in one case eaten by the growing demonic forces. Yes, it also doubles for some great visceral set pieces, but Fulci for making it all tie together with the general idea of the movie merits some additional respect.

Okay, I lied.
None of these spiders will give you super powers.
Mostly, they'll just eat your face.
Sorry about that.

Besides having a (relatively) tighter narrative and thematic consistency, the one other thing I want to give a shout-out for this movie - the music. Fabio Frizzi definitely one-ups his work from the prior installment, most notably with the recurring ‘Voci Dal Nulla’ - a choral track that bookends the movie, effectively serving first as ominous intro and then an ending that, for our protagonists, feels downright apocalyptic.

Honestly, if you only watch one of the movies in this series (and why only one? Come on, these are brisk 90 minute jaunts!) I would say make The Beyond your go to. They’re all solid, but this is definitely Fulci at his most on point of the three.

Which makes me feel like kind of a jerk because we still have one more of these to go. This isn’t to prematurely toss our next entry under the bus, because it does have its charms. But man, after the highs of The Beyond, The House by the Cemetery does feel like a bit of a step down.

Still, best to make the most of it. Because after this entry, Louisiana won’t want me back either.

So, see you again in a couple more days as we scale our sights down from town-wide carnage to a quaint little house that becomes a proving ground for a creature of purest evil.

Oh and Hell. Yes, Hell will be there too.

Till then.

City of the Living Dead - Not Approved by the Dunwich Board of Tourism

Welcome back for another October here at the Third Row.

Mind the newspapers. This series is gonna get messy.

Probably should have thought of that last year, but hindsight's 20-20.

Speaking of which, be sure your protective eyewear is properly secured, we're in Fulci territory now.

Okay, with all that cheek aside, let's dive into City of the Living Dead.
AKA The Gates of Hell.
AKA Paura nella città dei morti viventi.

One of the fun parts of Italian horror - more often than not, these will have multiple titles. I'll include the alternates where I can within reason, though for the rest of this, let's stick to CotLD.

To set the scene, this movie came about thanks to the success of Fulci's earlier Zombie (aka Zombi 2 and Zombie Flesh Eaters.) There was interest in him making another horror movie, and he began working with previous scriptwriter Dardano Saccheti (who is one of a few collaborators who worked on all three movies in this trilogy, others including composer Fabio Frizzi and lead actress Catriona Mac Coll.)

The idea they came up with is one heavily inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Set in the town of Dunwich (a big tip of the hat), the suicide of a local priest sets in motion a chain of events that signal the opening of a portal to Hell. As the clock ticks down to its opening, a psychic and a journalist race to stop the opening before it's too late.

I'll admit it - I don't have a quip for this.
I just really like how Fulci frames this transition.
...and no, the Dunwich tourist board didn't
okay this one either.

That’s the elevator pitch, in any case. The story in the film plays a bit looser, including things like a police investigation in New York and a vagrant who, even by the standards of Fulci’s characters, has spectacularly bad luck. These both play in the orbit of the growing doom descending on Dunwich, however, even if the connections don’t always feel concrete.

Yeah, it’s not intricately plotted, but honestly, with the influence Fulci is working with, I feel like that helps. There’s any number of works that play to Lovecraft’s specific mythos of ancient eldritch gods and arcane texts (while carefully cutting around his uncomfortable racial issues), but Fulci opts to go for the broader strokes of the creeping unknown rather than a specific evil. It’s a big part of why I find this series fascinating - rather than a singular monster or straightforward threat, the films share an idea of a sort of growing corruption, starting from a single incident and growing outward with greater scope and stranger horrors.

It’s something I haven’t seen done as often in other horror movies (Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness comes to mind as the most immediate comparison), so it’s part of what makes these movies standout. The horrors, in this case running anywhere from Fulci’s signature zombies, to a rain of maggots, to one particularly memorable set piece in which a woman vomits up her own organs (an effect accomplished with veal intestines, a prosthetic head, and one INCREDIBLY game actress that I hope was paid well for her part.)

Seriously. This scene goes a good way before they
swap to the prosthetic head - partly because no human
being can regurgitate that much safely.
This woman is a damn trooper!

While a part of me feels odd putting the gory set pieces first and foremost in the strengths, the fact is, they really do make up the backbone of this movie. Not simply as gore for gore’s sake, but as reflecting  the growing escalation that goes with that otherworldly corruption. We start the movie with a priest hanging himself and a man finding a decayed body. From there, we see first graphic standalone deaths, then carnage unfolding on greater and greater scales. To his credit, Fulci maintains the momentum almost perfectly, save for the last twist of the movie that feels like a fumble, and possibly a reshoot for how little set-up it has compared with a lot of what came before.

The movie opened to its share of mixed reception - besides the series of violence cuts for different countries, as was the style at the time, the movie earned its Gates of Hell moniker in response to a legal response from United Artists who felt that the distributors were trying to ride George Romero’s coattails. Critically, there were some who praised Fulci’s style, but many who were turned off by the violence and some of the looser writing of the movie. In the years since, it has developed a respectable following in horror circles.

Granted, it’s still somewhat in the shadow of its successor, but we’ll be going into that more next time. For now, I’ll say this much - on its own, City of the Living Dead is still a very fun, watchable, work of Italian horror. Its set pieces may sometimes be disjointed, but they move at a brisk pace that keeps you invested (so long as you have the stomach for some low budget carnage, anyway.) As its own movie, it’s a good time, as part of the trilogy, it walked so The Beyond can run, but it still stands well on its own.

In the interests of playing somewhat fair with the
good townsfolk, I have been asked to say this:
Come see scenic Dunwich, where you will more than
likely NOT have your brains squeezed out of your
skull by the undead!

If this has gotten you interested in checking this out (and if it hasn’t, you might want to turn back now - Fulci’s penchant for blood, guts, and strange, dreamlike narratives persists in this series), you can watch this, and its sequels, for free on Tubi as of this writing.

In the meantime, unless you’re sticking around for a watch or rewatch, it’s time for us to bid farewell to the ill-fated town of Dunwich as we make our way south to a little hotel in Louisiana. There, we’ll be opening one of the seven doors of Hell with 1981’s The Beyond.

Until then.

I'm Back and I'm Bringing Zombies!

 You feeling that?

The days are getting shorter, the temperature's getting cooler, the leaves are changing color.

Fall is here.

And that means I'm back on my BS again.

This past year has been a lot. Some good, some bad, and just a lot going on. I was honestly debating if I wanted to do another horror dive this year.

This was also a result of last year's run. Don't get me wrong, there were parts of diving into Hellraiser that I really enjoyed - finally reading The Hellbound Heart and digging into the production history were good times, including gaining a level of respect for Bloodline, in all of its flawed glory.

Then we had the six movies Dimension pumped out purely to keep the rights in their camp. That was where the project went from enjoyable to a chore. I was being entirely sincere when I said a big part of why I summed those up in a single article was simply because I could only repeat the same flaws so many times.

So, in approaching this year, I had two requirements in mind - I wanted something that was going to be less of a backlog, and I wanted something I would enjoy without feeling like I was forcing myself through it. In the future, I may take on another tall order again, but this year, I wanted to treat myself.

I went over a few options before the answer smacked me in the face, care of a program I did with my partner on Italian horror.

With all that said, buckle your seatbelts and break out your safety goggles - we're going back to Hell. And this time, Lucio Fulci's taking us there.

"It's just the same cenobite designs in every sequel now!"

Okay, I know calling a thematic trilogy a franchise could be read as a cheat by some. BUT, seeing as no one gave me grief for it when I did John Carpenter's Apocalypse Trilogy in 2019, I'm gonna take that as approval for Fulci's Gates of Hell trilogy this year.

So, keep an eye on this space in the weeks to come. We kick things off in suitably gut-churning fashion with 1980's City of the Living Dead, followed by the 1981 classic The Beyond before bringing the month a close with 1981's The House by the Cemetery.

Part of me would like to say I could throw in some supplemental material, but I can't make guarantees - I know The Beyond has a comic tie-in, but those tend to be a bit on the pricier side. If anything else comes up, I'll be sure to try to surprise you!

It's gonna be a fun ride. The dead will rise, eyes will be gouged.

Till next time.

Hellraiser 2022 - Time to Play Again

Well, we made it.

It’s Halloween here at The Third Row and I’ve now made my way through the complete, at times troubled arc of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser.

Time to sit back and…wait, what?

Well, this changes things.

So, in my earlier telling of the behind the scenes history of this series, there is one detail I must confess I omitted. I want to say that was my way of cleverly teeing up this article, but I’d be lying. This intro is just a happy accident.

While Miramax was engaged in its long game of Kick the Intellectual Property Can with tenuous sequel after tenuous sequel, there was an effort, starting back in 2007 to try and reboot Hellraiser. Whether this was because they recognized the sequels were getting stale and farmed out, or they simply felt a fresh start was the key for new audiences, I’m not sure. Whatever the reason, they recognized the need for a reset.

For a long time, these attempts fared even less favorably than the sequels they kept churning out to hold the brand. Writers and directors were swapped in and out, with little to show for their efforts.

Two things happened that ultimately got the ball moving again -

First, David Gordon Green’s 2018 Halloween reboot/sequel played to critical and financial success that showed there was still potential in revisiting a classic with the right approach.

Second, and more importantly, after years of the series being out of his hands or involvement, Clive Barker was able to legally regain the American rights for Hellraiser.

So not only was the reboot moving forward, the circumstances were right for the original creator to rejoin as an executive producer.

Finally, in October of this year, the movie officially premiered - the first Hellraiser to debut to streaming.

And with that preamble and very long road getting here, I have to say - it was a pleasant surprise.

How pleasant? Well, let’s dig into that.

First off, let me emphasize the use of the term ‘reboot.’ This is completely separated from the prior ten movies. That lack of continuity baggage frees director David Bruckner and the writers (David S Goyer, Luke Piotrowski, and Ben Collins) to tell a story that feels both thematically familiar and also different.

The familiar, to start, feels like a very welcome return to the early movies. While the Cenobites are prominently featured in the marketing (as seen above), and they are certainly a menacing force in the film, they aren’t the focus the way the series made them over time. Instead, this goes back to the two major aspects of the early years - the puzzle box and the people who are, one way or another, drawn to it.

In particular, we have two people who bring two very different perspectives on the accursed object. At the start, we have Voight (Goran Višnjić), who fits the more traditional mold as a wealthy, powerful man who comes to the box to sate his worldly desires, no matter the cost. Subsequently, it winds up in the hands of Riley (Odessa A’zion), a recovering addict who first comes across the box as a trinket to pawn and is then drawn into its mysteries by chance, unaware of what she is toying with until it is too late.

Mystery around the series lore is a big part of what sets this movie apart from much of the run before it. Besides the fact that Riley doesn’t fully understand just what she’s become a part of at first, the movie also offers a different perspective on what the iconic infernal device offers. This time, it doesn’t just present itself as an object for thrill-seekers, but instead offers a broader series of desires to fulfill, provided one completes the puzzle’s necessary steps.

And among those steps, is a steep price to be paid, of course.

This is one of the aspects that I appreciated the most after how convoluted the roles of the box and the Cenobites have been for the better part of twenty years. The vision this movie offers feels more in line with the diabolical nature that Barker first floated, and the contrast between those who would seek it by choice vs those who would be bound to it by chance. Even our hero’s desires, while born of good intent, are framed in this dark world as coming with a bloody toll, and the final payoff may not be as good as it sounds.

For their part, the Cenobites are also a welcome return to form. Rather than the later movies where they are seen as the main monsters (okay, mostly just the one) with the box as part of the package, the group once again serves to fulfill the will of the box, and by extension, Leviathan. Outside of this aspect, I’m a bit more divided. As the good goes, these are some of the best looking Cenobites the films have had in ages, especially as the post-Bloodline movies seemed to default to very generic designs for anyone that wasn’t Pinhead. The designs this time are visually striking and unique, and in a few cases feel informed by The Hellbound Heart, most notably in the case of the Weeper.

This wound up reminding me a LOT of the Cenobite
originally framed as the leader in The Hellbound Heart.

Of course, once again, the primary focus is on the one with all the pins. True to Barker’s wishes, the character is credited as the Priest, and is now played by actress Jamie Clayton. When the casting was first announced, I was intrigued, knowing her skills as an actress, but still uncertain without knowing how the role would be played. Having seen the finished product, she is easily the MVP of the movie. Rather than make another Doug Bradley, as the later sequels tried and failed, she brings her own spin to the role, exuding a presence that is menacing as well as otherworldly.

There is one scene I want to shout out in particular, but I also don’t wish to give too much away. It’s about halfway into the movie, during a scene involving one of the people the box has marked to be sacrificed. Watching it, I was genuinely pleased, both with Clayton’s performance, and for the fact it was one of the scenes that feels the most like the role the Cenobites served in The Hellbound Heart - creatures to whom it’s not about a quick death, but about exploring new levels of pain and pleasure with mortals as their unwilling canvas.

I have to borrow a comment from a friend of mine for this one:
"Oh no, she's hot."

Conceptually, there is a lot I love about this movie. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always carry over visually. One reveal involving a character’s granted wish (I won’t say further as this is still fairly recent) is a big example. The idea we’re presented is very Barker, and it is honestly one of the creepiest concepts in the movie. Presentation-wise, however, the on-screen product looks lackluster and doesn't sell the nightmarish aspects as strongly. Likewise, as striking and inspired as the new Cenobites look (and the practical effects for them are solid), their arsenal is marred by the awkward CG of the movie’s straight to streaming budget.

The other issue I have, albeit a smaller one, is that at two hours, this is the longest Hellraiser movie to date. While it doesn’t feel like it drags to the point of distraction, it is still a movie that feels like a bit of tightening could have taken it from being pretty good to great.

As it is now, there’s a lot to like in it. There is also a lot to improve on, and hearing this has lit a fire under Barker to want to do more with the setting again is encouraging. After over ten years of watching this series run on fumes, this is the first time I’ve felt like the series had some energy in it, and, even with its faults, that rubbed off on me in the process.

I’m interested in seeing where they go from here, anyway. Especially if Barker continues to serve as producer and Clayton is there to continue to collect victims to pay for Leviathan's offerings.

I’m glad this is the note we’re going out on. As much as I loved the start of this series, the middle was a really draining experience. To the point where…well…you saw my read on The Scarlet Gospels, and I still stand by that as a meta-middle finger.

Despite that, it’s refreshing to close with a feeling of something new. Yes, a new Hellraiser in general isn’t exactly the pinnacle of innovation, but to have a Hellraiser that genuinely feels mysterious and engaging again makes me feel like this journey was ultimately worth it.

With that note, it’s time to pack up the franchise spelunking gear for another year and wish you all a Happy Halloween.

…oh, what the Hell! For once, I’ll actually rank this whole experience.

1. Hellraiser (1987)
2. Hellbound: Hellraiser II
3. The Hellbound Heart
4. Hellraiser (2022)
5. Hellraiser: Bloodline (Original script)
6. Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
7. The Scarlet Gospels
8. Hellraiser: Bloodline (movie)
9. Hellraiser: Inferno
10. Clive Barker’s Tweet disavowing any connection to Hellraiser: Revelations
11. Hellraiser: Hellseeker
12. Hellraiser: Hellworld (again, not good, but at least incredibly fun to riff on)
13. Hellraiser: Deader
14. Hellraiser: Judgment
15. Hellraiser: Revelations

Okay. NOW. Good night and Happy Halloween. With any luck, I’ll be back up to some new chicanery before next October, but we’ll see.