So, guess who got excommunicated after last week?
Come to think of it, CAN you even be excommunicated from an evangelical church? Sorry, my whole point of reference is growing up Catholic.
Then again, not even sure if that could happen anyway since I'm not really affiliated anywhere these days, nor was the movie that especially transgressive regarding the church (and since I've already seen The Devils, I can't count it for this, so back to the drawing board.)
So in the meantime, how about some John Waters?
As I said at the beginning of the month, this entry marks the first in my series of addressing the titles in the John Waters filmography I have not yet seen – a mini-run I am informally titling Uncharted Waters that will be running now till August. Kicking things off, it's his 1950s musical throwback Cry-Baby.
Okay, this is kind of one I was bracing myself for. Not because it's bad or even considered bad as much as this movie has something of an elephant in the room nowadays care of its lead actor.
For the record, I do think Johnny Depp is giving a good performance in this movie, so don't take this as criticism just for his being there, particularly at this point in his life and career. If there's one thing Waters has been good at in choosing big name performers, it's getting people that can sync up to the wavelength of whatever project he's working on (see also, Kathleen Turner's phenomenal performance in Serial Mom), and in this regard, Depp fits this particular role like a glove.
So with those thoughts of his particular involvement in this movie factored in, here's what I'm gonna do. As you scroll down, you will see a picture of Willem Dafoe as a prison guard in this movie (and, one of two performances I would call one-scene wonders that just absolutely steal the moment.) Past this particular point, I'm going to just say my piece on this particular subject and that will be the end of it. Should this come up in a future installment (which it might, I've been circling adding some Jarmusch to the queue), I'll just link people back to this rather than go over it all again.
So when you see Dafoe, if you wish to avoid this topic, keep scrolling. At the end, you will see Dafoe again. At that point, you're all clear to keep reading.
Okay?
Okay.
Now everyone look busy, here comes the guard!
I'll just come right out with it – damn, it's frustrating watching this performance nowadays. Again, this is through no fault of its own. Depp is good in this role, he gets what it's going for and he doesn't try to be above the more openly silly parts of the persona.
Which is frustrating because watched in 2026, it really hits that this version of him is gone. To be clear, I'm not putting this on the allegations. I feel like he could be offered a gig again tomorrow and it still wouldn't feel like a 'he's back' moment because it honestly feels like this energy left him long before any accusations really stuck.
That is one of the other awkward things about this topic – when you really dig in, the reports of questionable behavior and substance abuse had been floating in the ether for a long time before the particular accusation that really took hold surfaced. In many cases, they were ignored or shrugged off as the bad boy actions of a younger star. More importantly, a younger star who still made bank. If there is one lesson that has remained the most consistent in terms of which actors get comebacks and which ones flame out, it's that there are very few sins in Hollywood as great as wasting other people's money. After all, we've seen some actors who have done some INSANELY sketchy things (one of whom is currently up for an Oscar this year) but they still manage the return on investment, so they get to stay in the picture.
(Okay, Jared Leto remains the anomaly as his career continues even as it hemorrhages money, but the fact he's been putting up the funds himself lately raises the question of how much longer that will continue.)
Anyway, back to my initial point. When I say that version of Depp is gone, I'm feeling like it was gone years before the particular allegation. I say this as someone who was in his 20s in the 2000s. Someone who saw the man's repeated collaborations with Tim Burton go from a source of great anticipation to increasingly exasperated sighs of “Again?!” Someone who remembers the schlock entries like Transcendence and Secret Window (and let's not even get started on Mortdecai.) Yes, there was Pirates, but even that went from feeling like a fresh reminder of juice in the tank to something that felt like it devolved into broad shtick as became more and more the Captain Jack Show.
In short – I look at a movie like this and I just remember all that promise that got frittered away over the course of a decade or so from any number of poor professional decisions long before any questions of his personal life came to the fore.
Okay. There's Dafoe. We can get back to talking about Cry-Baby now.
As far as the rest of the cast of this movie is concerned – again, Waters knows how to put together a good team. In this case, I kind of feel a bit bad for Depp and Locane as the leads, because while they're good, they're also the more grounded characters, and as a result get somewhat drowned out by their more colorful co-stars. I can think of several here would love to give particular shout-outs to – Iggy Pop and Susan Tyrell are both a welcome dash of crazy as our hero's uncle and grandmother, as is Mink Stole as another actor alongside Dafoe who gets one scene and makes a meal out of it. That said, if I had to single out a particular standout here, it's Kim McGuire as the fan favorite character nicknamed 'Hatchet-Face.' In true Waters fashion, McGuire comes into the film with a distinct look and genuine 'holy shit' energy that creates the dilemma of if the movie needed more of her or if the fact we don't get more of her just makes her scenes that much better.
Again, it speaks to Stole as a Dreamland regular that
Waters can give her a scene where she's in an iron lung,
puffing on a cigarette, and she can still make it memorable.
Besides the casting? The movie is overall good, but if I'm really being put to it, I'm kind of putting this on the lower end of what I've seen of Waters's work (though, to be fair, even lower end Waters is still a good time and this is still holding together better than Mondo Trasho, which has its moments but also has a lot of 'first feature' rough edges to it.) It's good, but it doesn't quite hit the audacity of his earlier movies, and even of the more mainstream work, it doesn't really feel quite as strong or memorable as films like Hairspray or Serial Mom do on either side of it. Even as a musical, a lot of the tunes in this just didn't really make an impact (to the point where I can kind of see why the subsequent attempt to make this into a stage musical just opted to forego the movie's entries and make their own songs.)
I have to admit, I feel a little bad that this is the first draw in this that really netted some genuine criticisms, because there are a number of things to recommend in it. But, at the same time, I'm also looking at this as less 'this is bad' and more I graded this on a curve with other Waters movies and it just didn't measure up as well. Honestly, I feel like if I came to this earlier in my dive into his work, I might have warmed up to it more. I'd still say it's worth the watch – and not just to be a completist – but will maintain I've seen Waters make stronger impressions.
To paraphrase her own words -
There's nothing wrong with her face,
she's got character
...and a big knife. That helps too.
Of course, there's still five more movies, so there's a chance I may eat my words in the future, but we'll see. If this is as low as we go, I'm still calling this one an all around win.
In the meantime, we've got one more to go for February, and this marks the first select from my wife as well as the first invocation of another bonkers legend of Hollywood – the great Nicolas Cage.
Hope to see you all next week for the 1983 Martha Coolidge movie Valley Girl.
Till then
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